If you’ve just learned your partner is unexpectedly pregnant, you’re likely unsure what role you play moving forward. You may have these questions in your mind:

What should I say to her?

I don’t know what pregnancy decision she’ll make. Do I play a role in that?

What will my friends and family think?

What are my next steps? I don’t know where to go from here.

Though right now feels uncertain, you’re not alone. You have more support than you think. Contact EPIC Center today to learn how we can help.

Your Next Steps

When your partner tells you she’s pregnant, your initial reaction may be to “get out of this situation.” However, regardless of where your relationship stands and your initial feelings, it’s important to take a step back and remember that this situation is stressful for everyone, especially her. 

Stepping up and offering support shows that you’re committed to being mature and responsible throughout this process. You can take several steps to take care of yourself and ensure you’re there for your partner.

1.Process your feelings and have honest, thoughtful conversations.

It’s often easy to say things you don’t mean after unexpected news, especially in the heat of the moment. Emotions are high, and you may react out of fear or anger.

However, try to remember that your partner is the one who’s pregnant, and she’ll have to make a pregnancy decision. Taking time to process and discuss your feelings with loved ones can prevent you from saying something you’ll regret.

Once you both feel comfortable, you can have an honest conversation. Speak openly about your feelings, and listen to how your partner is feeling. Communication is key here.

2.Decide how you’ll support her.

Initially, your partner may want some space, or she may want to be as involved as possible. Listen to her wishes and remind her that you’re here to support her.

Together, you can decide how you’ll support her during this time. Your presence makes a difference whether you attend an ultrasound appointment, discuss the situation with loved ones, or help your partner run errands.

You’ll also want to discuss whether she wants your input on the pregnancy decision. Though your partner is the one who’s pregnant, she may want your opinion or to learn about your options together. 

Remember, you should never force your partner to make a specific pregnancy decision, including abortion. Coercion of any kind is always unacceptable. It’s understandable that you may be fearful, but handling this situation appropriately is crucial.

3.Take care of yourself.

Though your partner is pregnant, you likely feel the weight of the world on your shoulders right now. This may be a challenging time, but remind yourself that you’ll get through this.

Talking to loved ones, participating in your favorite hobbies, and reflecting on your feelings are all ways you can help yourself cope and move toward clarity. There’s nothing wrong with feeling emotional about an unplanned pregnancy–you’re human, and guys are allowed to be scared.

With the proper resources, you will get through this. We’re here for you.

How We Can Help

EPIC Center is here for you and your partner during an unplanned pregnancy. We provide no-cost, confidential options information, peer counseling, and more.

You have a place here. Schedule an appointment today at one of our two locations.